I worked on both the big 2010 projects today, making a good amount of headway on one of them in particular so that the first portion may actually be completed this evening. In addition I saw a dear friend I hadn’t seen in many moons and filled the larder with good quality food from the local Ralph’s chain as well as the Trader Joe’s. It’s been a great day with a lot accomplished in preparation for moving on to boondock at Quartzsite, AZ for a little more than a day before wending our way back to Tucson and more chances for working interspersed with 4 or 5 mile hikes in the Sonoroan Desert.

Needless to say I’m wracked by guilt about it all.

I can’t seem to relax and let the enjoyment take over just yet, but I’m finding some solutions for that and they have been very effective thus far. I’m sleeping much better. I’m pining to get back to hiking, yoga and every additional sort of activity I find I enjoy. My jeans felt a bit looser this morning even after having been dried in an industrial Laundromat dryer the day prior.

I suppose I’m a bit anxious due to the fact that we’re camped on asphalt out front of a parts and service place that caters to trailerites. The people are friendly and very skilled, and we’ve been able to get some rare parts here that we really needed for the Safari as well as make some repairs with said parts, but the fact remains that we’re in the industrial section of Riverside, CA with all that implies. It’s the kind of place that makes one appreciate and fell rich gratitude for time spent in spots like Anza-Borrego. It comes with the territory and I’m getting over it.

The best thing I figured I could do after being woken early so we could move the trailer a half-block out of the service bay was to immerse myself in work, with the hope that I would move through my angsty mood and leave it behind. It worked very well. So well, that I’m now feeling angsty all over again.

I’ll find my stride soon, I know. I’ve already noticed that there are certain rituals forming during the course of the mornings and evenings on the road and I find them very comforting. They tell me that very soon attention to my own work will be a part of the format of the day. No procrastination and no guilt needed. It’ll take some more time, to be sure, maybe another month or two for it all to sink in that there is now nothing left ot do “when I get home”. Because home is here and I’m doing what I need to be doing every single day.

You know? I think I’m gonna be able to live with that.