Charon, the Odd Angel

Part of the wonderful craziness that being a full-timer affords actually isn’t craziness at all. It only feels that way when you’re adjusting to a lifestyle change that takes you away from a schedule governed by the clock. That lifestyle tells us it’s breakfast time at 8am, work begins at 9am, lunch at 11:30 and so on.

Out here on the road it isn’t like that. It’s breakfast time when you’re awake in the morning and hungry, work begins when work conditions are right and lunch happens when there’s a logical break in the work process and you’re hungry again. You may not be hungry again until late in the afternoon. Then it’s dinnertime, perhaps. It’s really all up to you. Resting when you’re tired is another important component of this dynamic. Brundlefly knows all about that and teaches us every chance she gets.

It is challenging to transition into a lifestyle governed by the rhythm of one’s life, as ridiculous as that sounds. We’ve been trained out of it for so long, beginning with school days for most of us, taught that there is always a schedule to keep and that the consequences for deviating from said schedule were dire. Our time is not ours, and while time may be money, we’re taught that that’s not ours either.

Out here on the road, the moon phases are right in front of me, all the time. The moon shines in through the windows on clear nights and reminds me that there are other ways of doing things. The sunrise and sunset are integral parts of this style of timekeeping as well. The sounds of indigenous wildlife wherever we happen to be living also contribute to helping me keep in tune with the flow of the day.

I am not an early riser and never really have been. For the first time in my life I am able to choose to sleep well past sunrise if I wish. This has made a huge difference in my health, both physical and mental. For so many years I’ve been laboring under the idea that I must be flat out lazy to want to sleep past the sunrise and in point of fact I was told that I was lazy regularly while growing up and the idea took root and held fast. I’m just now coming to realizations that allow me to let go of this as a story that no longer serves me. For example, a lazy person doesn’t carry a 4.0 GPA in college while working multiple jobs, and this was my life story for nearly four years.

I can stop right there, can’t I?

The craziness part begins to surface when you realize that myriad pathways are now open to you as you build a new kind of life. It can be intimidating and labor intensive to sort out long held beliefs that no longer serve you, but it is the only way to create the life that is right for you.

The road has been a wonderful Teacher for me in this capacity. It has given me long stretches of open time to ponder what those stretches might best be used for and I have been filling them with art, reading, writing, conversation and friends and family whose company is good and healing for me, and who enjoy mine in the same manner. I am finding that each path that presents itself need not be a finite choice. Like most hikes, many of the paths will bring you full circle to where you started, only more refreshed and wiser for having traversed them. If you get tired along the way or discover you weren’t prepared adequately, there are routes on which to bail out and return to start until you are genuinely ready to tackle what lies ahead (and bail out routes have their lessons too). I don’t have to shut a door on an opportunity. I can defer it and try it on for size later.

Thus far the road has gifted me with a new Power Animal, a simple and effective way to jump start my exercise habit, fulfilling art and writing projects, opportunities for tattooing that span several states, a blossoming friendship with an amazing woman I greatly admire (as well as her daughter and husband whom I adore), ample resources and the lessons on how to best make them work for us, new and regular ways of connecting and communicating with Best Beloved and a sense of self worth that I don’t think I’ve ever really had before.

For me, right now, there is no Road Less Traveled. They’re all Roads I’m Going To Travel and I’m ready, willing and, finally, able.