The Musings of a Nomadic Artist in the 21st Century
Wow, it’s been a while. I’ve bee
n so self-absorbed lately that I hardly noticed how much time had passed between blog posts and I’m very mortified to have left it for so very long.
A lot has happened, actually. We’ve acquired a second Sphynx cat, a red-headed boy we’ve named Cesare. It looks like Anaphys has picked up two new shows this year. We have decided the best course of travel action for next winter. I am booked through much of June and starting to book for July at Marlowe Ink. The Vegas trip was absolutely and exceptionally wonderful for us both, on many levels. We got to see some of the Tucson Gem & Fossil Show, replete with things I adore. Then, sometime in early February, everything started to head south on me emotionally.
The condensed version: I’ve been depressed.
Yeah, I know, I know, who hasn’t what with natural disasters and Health Care Reform and copious amounts of snow, rain and cold in our faces for months on end now. I suppose I’ve been more introspective about it all and focusing (selfishly) on my own shortcomings and failures of late. It certainly didn’t help matters when the water heater in the Airstream decided to take a powder. Anaphys spent the better part of a week replacing it while we had a very generous friend able to host us at her home in southern GA.
That extended visit helped me to gather some perspective on things (thank you Ro, you are a Very Very Good Friend), read for pleasure (which always helps) and begin weight training on a schedule once more. Things are definitely looking up these past few days and I’m striving to hold on tight and ride this upswing that’s just begun.
In keeping with working on myself in alchemical first chakra mode, I’ve adopted Rob Faigin’s NHE eating and exercise program (or as close as I can get to the HIE program with the facilities I have available). One of the major sources of my depression of late was the fact that I’ve packed on about 40 pounds in the last three years. I even got my thyroid levels tested to make sure I wasn’t ill, which should give you an idea of how drastic and sudden this change in my physiognomy was. My family history is rife with weight issues and I do NOT want to spend my life obsessing over it, as was the example I was given while growing up. I want to be healthy and strong and full of energy. Two friends whom I greatly admire had fantastic success with the program so I am giving it a shot. Not to put to fine a point on it, but I FEEL GREAT. I’ve lost a bit of weight and a lot of inches off my waist in the past month and I now look forward to the upcoming Tucson Tattoo Expo at which one of my goals is to be able to tattoo in my little black velvet dress. Go me!
In addition to this basic work on my bodily health and fitness I’ve signed up for Pace and Kyeli’s 52 Weeks to Awesome e-course and am also negotiating with Leah Shapiro of Defy the Box for some life coaching. Leah knows me and knows my lifestyle so I feel she has a great foundation from which to advise me. I look forward to getting started with her.
Here’s the thing that I’ve finally realized: Now that I have what I’ve been wanting out of life, I don’t really know what to do or where to go next. Always, there’s been a structure of time and goals for me to follow, be it school, the tattoo shop or simply the responsibilities of making a living in the NoVa Area. Now that all of that has been altered or removed entirely I have a lot of open sky visible in my time-goals structure.
And I don’t quite know what to build.
I have ideas, of course, but not enough of whatever it takes to execute them, apparently. This is why I’m going for help from folks who have been where I am and know how to help others navigate effectively.
I’m looking forward to seeing how it all unfolds, and I promise I won’t stay away so long this time. I’ll have some pretty cool things to share in the very near future. Thanks for joining me to read about them.
Su
March 22nd, 2010 at 8:08 PM
Hey there Charon,
GO, GIRL GOOOOOOOO!
It keeps getting better and better!
I’ve been managing to shift things for myself with diet and movement too. My personal choice has been a drastic dietary cleanse in 30 day phases (which I am on phase 3 of 5). And I’ve also gotten back to Iyengar Yoga. I found a local studio to the cabin, and also one in the city — so no matter where I am I can get to a class.
The shift has been dramatic. It all came down at once on Aug 1, 2009, when I was involved in a car accident. We were hit from behind, and I was in the front passenger seat. I had some injuries, most prominently was my back. I began to go to regular chiropractor appointments, and that’s when I also got back into my Iyengar yoga classes. This brought on the desire to cleanse my digestive tract and all my tissues of unwanted stuff……..thus the cleansing began.
I feel FANTASTIC!
Better, stronger, and more energy.
I have not felt this good in at least 10 years!
I’ve lost some weight, my joints are no longer painful, my back is in far less pain, and I feel mentally clearer too.
So….
I just wanted to say
KEEP IT UP — IT’S WORTH IT!
I love you always,
–Su
Nina
March 24th, 2010 at 11:14 PM
Gratitude can help to put you in a better place. And making time to really listen to your inner voice will help you determine your direction. Sounds like you just need to focus back on you.
PS you’ll always be beautiful, 40 lbs or not. Your beauty radiates.
You are perfect just the way you are.
Barbara Barrow "mystic Punkin"
March 27th, 2010 at 12:42 PM
Hi Charon, Love your self darling, if you are comfortable in your own skin than the world is your pice of pie, cake, cookie, tofu or what ever. I send love you sweet pea and logs of success!
Rich Stombres
April 1st, 2010 at 11:42 AM
Hey Charon:
Sorry to hear that you have been down as of late. As you know, depression and mental health in general, has been an all consuming part of my life.
I wish there were easy answers to what you are going through — because I would use them to help with my family — but keeping busy and on a schedule seems to help with my wife’s issues.
And — as you also know — I find it is difficult to be a “loved one” of somebody going through difficult times. Sometimes I feel depressed as well, but have learned to lean on my faith to keep me going (even when I don’t want to).
For most of my life I searched for something to fulfill me. I tried everything I wanted and experienced happiness during good times, but I never found anything that brought enough joy during bad times.
When I figured out who God was, and that I could know him in a personal way, I finally understood what I had been missing all those years.
Even though I still go through difficult times, it’s because of this personal relationship that I know who I am and where I’m going and that is the lasting foundation that provides for my hope and happiness.
Not a sermon — just a thought — I think of you oftent and hope that the Spring brings about a new mood (I know it does for our family).
Take Care.
Rich